And Thereto I Give You My Love

I, ISAIAH KUAN, take you, KLESSIS LEE to be my wedded wife - to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish and to obey, as long as we both live, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I give you my love.

This is one of the most beautiful vows I have given to my wife. Nearly every time I attend a friend’s wedding, when the groom or the bride is reciting the wedding vow, I would recite together and remind myself the responsibilities I have as a husband to the woman I most love and whom I have married.

Not getting too much in biblical reasoning here, but marriage is a decision for 2 individuals to become 1. So theoretically a couple should become better after marriage. Make senses?

Here are some points personally I feel as a husband, I have the responsibilities to help my wife and myself to be better:

1. In terms of spiritual, I feel as the head of the household, I have to lead by example. I need to be more committed in my walk with God, so that I can help my wife to have a better relationship with God too. Our belief is – God is the foundation of our love and relationship. And it’s not just talking about it, we have to have actions to show that our relationship is build on the Rock that will never waiver. Which is why I constantly remind myself and Kless to never take our personal walk with God lightly. If the foundation is strong, that is when our vows to one another can stay strong.

2. In terms of health, I have to take up the responsibility of not only ensuring my wife is well and healthy, I have to constantly remind myself to stay fit and healthy. Kless occasionally will joke that she would prefer to die first so that she will not have to endure the pain of losing me. I agree, because I do not want her to be alone without me to take care of her when we are old.

3. In terms of finance, I will change my spending habits to ensure that Kless is comfortable with the current living standards. Nothing too extravagant or too shabby. This is something very important and very practical, we cannot be naive and think that we only need love but not bread. That is being irresponsible. I will always remember that my in-laws entrusted their precious daughter to a man they hardly know and hoping that he will take good care of her. I can understand how they feel especially now I have 2 daughters myself.

4. In terms of fun, I strive to be as fun-loving and humorous as possible most of the time. Cos I want my wife to remain married to a man she knew 10 years ago and not a man who has totally changed after marriage. I love to tease her, then and also now. Reminding myself to be that 19 years old guy whom she fall head over heels in love with.

5. In terms of love, I told myself to increase and never decrease in affection for Kless. Learn about her ‘love languages’. Especially now with 2 kids, I have to make sure that the kids are not pulling us away from one another, but rather the kids act as a bridge for us to be more in love with one another.

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Till death do us apart. Death is not just physical/body death. Sometimes if we are not careful, we can still be living and kicking on the outside but on the inside we are already dead to the marriage.

I’m not a marriage expert, but after bring married for 10 years and seeing so many couples taking marriage so lightly, I feel it’s a good reminder to myself what marriage really means to me. And also as a Christian, I need to remember what was marriage suppose to be like, in the beginning.