Approached by Ai Sakura to guest post in her series of Celebrate Fatherhood, I was both honoured and shocked. I set forth to reflect on my short tenure (7 years) of being a father.
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Year 0
Getting ready to receive our first born into the family, nothing can be prepared beforehand of what is to come. I have decided to be a hands-on daddy, be it feeding, bathing, changing diapers, making milk, etc. Fatherhood is anticipation.
Year 1
Baby is more interactive now, more attention seeking. But the joy of seeing my darling Joey always out-weights the tiredness from work. Fatherhood is enjoyment.
Year 2
Experiencing the so call ‘terrible two’ symptom. It seems like fatherhood is no longer easy or fun. It is during this period I questioned my decision of having kids. Without Joey, I could have enjoyed life with the missus. I missed my ‘freedom’ nights. Fatherhood is tough.
Year 3
Time to think and plan for another child. Seriously, I have never thought of a boy, I mean girls are so cute and I am quite enjoying Joey’s ‘daddy’s girl’ attention. Fatherhood is heavy responsibility.
Year 4
Birth of a second girl (yea!). Reliving the entire experience of sleepless nights and 2-hr shift work. However, the sight of seeing Joey carrying baby Jayne really ensured me that all is worth it. At the same time, I have to grapple with the cruelty of seeing how Joey cries non-stop when she starts to attend Nursery. Fatherhood is heart wrenching.
Year 5
This is probably the easiest year of all. Joey is enjoying school and Jayne is super duper cute. Fatherhood is heaven.
Year 6
Another round of ‘terrible two’. No amount of experience or preparation is enough cos every child is so different even though the factory is the same. Fatherhood is unexplainable.
Year 7
Joey attends Primary 1 in my alumni school. This is exactly how I have imagined on the day she was born, my child studying in the same school as me. Amazing! Jayne starts Nursery and I have grown emotionally stronger, to stay calm when I see her cry in the morning but laughingly tells me her day when I pick her up after work. Fatherhood is growing up.
Are fathers appreciated? Who and how should we appreciate fathers?
I believe family (wife and kids) should show love and support as fathers do go have to make tough decisions and usually we do not have much support from other fathers around (unlike mothers). But personally I stand on the belief that a father should learn to appreciate himself. If we do not know how important our role is, or if we do not have a healthy self-image as a father, we will not be able to live strong and do well.
Daddy is a choice! The moment I have decided to be a father that decision stays forever!
Hi Daddy Isaiah
ReplyDeleteNew here. And so glad to read about parenthood from the dad's perspective, and in such a tender and affirmative manner. You're so right. Daddies need appreciation and support to. Sometimes, I am often too overwhelmed mothering my kids and it's so easy to neglect the big boy at home. Thanks for the post. ;)
Hi Dianaruth,
DeleteThanks for dropping by, it's true that the "big boy" at home is sometimes a boy that needs attention too =)
I think your hubby would be happy enough to know that you have already notice his needs, coming from a father's perspective, we are quite easy to be contented de..